What is the CBT flower petal analogy?

Sometimes when things aren't going as well as we'd like, we can take this has a personal failing. "Why can't I just be happier?" "How come I can't just get over this?" "Why does life seem so hard right now?" As humans, we can be good at noticing when things aren't right, but sometimes instead of exploring external factors, we take it as a personal failing that we aren't in a better position.

So what is the CBT flower petal analogy? CBT (which stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and the flower analogy suggests we consider a flower with big petals, and each petal represents a factor in our lives. For example, if I'm having a great summer, my petals might each represent these points: Spending time with family could be one petal, lots of sunlight would be another, more active, vacations and reading new books. Now, if we imagine that I'm back at 'the grind' and life isn't as enjoyable... I could then compare this flower's petals to my current situation. For instance, I wouldn't have the petals of vacations, lots of sunlight, reading new books or time with my family. I might only be left with one petal I'm consistently doing, such as being active. Now if I compare the two flowers, it makes sense why I was feeling better before, but have been struggling currently.

So what do I do? Well, first I might simply acknowledge the difference and see how some of those petals truly helped me to have a happy summer. Then seeing how they've changed, I accept the difference and look for ways to build more petals. Maybe I need to chat with a friend about a good book recommendation. It could also be time to increase my Vitamin D, identify a few fun, family activities and plan for a mini-staycation. Or maybe it's looking at other things that bring me joy that are seasonally specific, such as mushroom foraging, moody winter hikes and having a campfire at Goldstream Park.

When I start to look at my situation not so much as a personal failing, but more as situational, I can then add in activities and supports that can help increase my mood. I'm all for accepting what is (it's no longer summer... sob) and changing what I can (adding in some fall activities).

Danielle van Schaik